Improvement

As one who has to move house in the next few weeks (and first find a house, at that) I do hope the brand new Police State won't be too err... policey.

Meanwhile, the supermarket

Readers: Why don't you read an improving book and post about that, instead? We want something different to ignore.

Improvisation

How many people are going shopping who never go shopping? By the checkouts, trolleys filled with stuff and abandoned by whoever loaded them - a dodgy credit card? A panic baulking at the panic buying?

Stray goods littered all over the place, picked up and jettisoned any old how; people using a self-checkout for the first time and losing their composure when it starts talking to them.

Someone spills a bottle of cooking oil on the floor. Two of the staff get to work: something to absorb the oil so the mess can be cleaned away?

Batter mix, several packets of! Ingenious!

Readers: most of your posts about this planetary international Crisis totally relate to your local supermarket. Do you not have a broader view, a more panoramic analysis, you would share with us?

Blogid-19: Wait 'til the polloi realise that a coating of batter is proof against those pesky little coviddy thingies, then you'll 

Readers: OMFG and they've used it all on th'oil slicks!

Cargo Cult

Smug couple leaving the supermarket, each with two sixteen-roll packs of lavatory paper: smug because they had gone separately to the self-checkout machines, so that nobody would spot that they were making off with a whole sixty-four of the things.

A triumph for this couple who evidently have nothing better to do in life but wipe their arses.

Strange the desolation of shelves with a few scraps of packaging lying on them, next to shelves loaded with things nobody has thought to hoard yet. No alcoholic hand gel almost from day one; two weeks later all the bleach is gone as the slow-witted suddenly apprehend that it kills germs too; some days later all the soap bars...not a gradual diminution but in a swoop.

Nothing Occurs

No, nothing.

Flu

A bout of somewhat more than usually nasty flu is making the rounds.

A friend who has severely reduced lung capacity, and therefore genuine reason to fear the virus, has shut herself away.

This morning a local volunteer group delivered, free, this very appetising, healthy and fresh-cooked meal. She and a lady in her nineties who lives upstairs are both on the list of people to support. The group seems to have formed spontaneously, and is giving help in many forms to those who need it.

The Authorities in the meanwhile have, er, hmmm,  taken firm, ahem, and are probably spending an humongous amount of other people's money doing it.

Armed with new powers to do pretty well anything they want, it is only a matter of time before they start shooting people randomly on sight, sooner than risk overcrowding the gaols and upping the virus hazard amongst the inmates.

Down With Left Deviationism

How dare you!

Stop killing us with your Glooobal Warning💀💀

Stop totally killing us with your coronavirussy Glooobal Warning 💀💀

How double dare you with knobs on! there I said it move over Saint Greta

Citizens are reminded that until November Orang Man Bad

is the sole cause of all sabotage, espionage, persiflage, frottage, spoilage, umbrage and 
Viral Pwnage.

A Journal of the Plague Year

Monday: It is only four and a half years ago that I was mocking Maduro for eliminating the toilet roll from Venezuela.

What goes around comes around, and the roundabout of Fate turns at a dizzying speed.

What mortal can stand steady on this relentless centrifuge? Nay, we fly helplessly off into the sandpit or away at that slide that looks like a cerise elephant.