Friday, 14 March 2014

Letter from Ukraina

A very difficult time for my family. We all considered themselves almost apolitical, but recent events have shown that we are wrong. We want to live in the peaceful, democratic and independent Ukraine, and it is happiness that the views of all members of our family are the same. We have very hard and terrible feeling for the occupation of the Crimea and the for possibility of occupation of Donetsk. Russia has gone mad, and, unfortunately, not only Putin. They call us fascists and Nazis, but I remember the words of Winston Churchill: "fascists of future will name themselves anti-fascists".

Sunday, 9 February 2014

Take Them Seriously

Really. They've got beards and money.

Saturday, 8 February 2014

No Retreat

No retreat. This is how you run a successful government.

Our bird sanctuaries will be the wonder of the world.

Friday, 7 February 2014

Scots 'Irretrievably Chippy'

Prodnose: I can't see why the Scots shouldn't be part of a Sterling Zone, and still be totally independent.

Self: I daresay you can't. Impossibilities are always hard to fathom.

 Prodnose: Or we could join the European Union and the Eurozone, and still be totally independent.

Self: You could do that too. Nobody anywhere else in the world would give a shit. Not even the Somalians would give a shit. And you wouldn't be independent.

Prodnose: Well that David Cameron has FAILED to have a debate IN SCOTLAND with a line-up of chippy Scotsmen and chippy Scotswomen.

Self: We have a sense of humour.

Self: And who the f would want to go to Scotland anyway.

 Self: Apart from the gnats.

Wednesday, 5 February 2014

EU 'Massively Corrupt'

Prodnose: Well, who would have thought, eh.

Emblogged: Yes, th'EU turning out to be oceangoingly corrupt.

Prodnose: Who knew.

Disembloggied: Will come as a big surprise to the moron 'community'.

Prodnose: Complete shock to me.

Thursday, 16 January 2014

Whatever Happens, Don't Let The Fucker Near A


In Which We Do the Obvious

Cowpoke: Been a long time since I last posted. Three months, I reckon.

Texas Rangers: So you got something new to say or are you just posting your old favourites you already posted?

Lonely homosexual who doesn't poke cows though: Doreen Schaffer and the Skatalites...

Solitary western American who would love to have intercourse with a bovine only they're all being driven north to Wyoming or something, or maybe FROM Wyoming: And Lord Creator...

Unpartnered resident of the Lone Star State (a lie, actually Mitcham UK) who hasn't got his penis near a sentient being of any sort in three years but WLTM: Anddddd... Clancy Eccles!

Texas and Elsewhere Rangers: We love your musical choices. Intercourse..? Well, there's some cacti out there on the high chapparal who ain't going to complain. least not legally.

Saturday, 26 October 2013


“I never really get too fussed about what people think about their own intellects. I’m always happy to be in awe of someone whose own intellect delivered us the cones hotline, I must say.”

Not often I laugh these days, and a bit of an open goal. But still.

Wednesday, 23 October 2013

Well Known For It

What each country leads the world in.

Back in the day Britain would have been all red double-deckers. I blame Ken Livingstone and his bendy buses.