Monday, 19 January 2015

worse job i ever had

was being the mole in the whack a mole and i aint even finished my breakfast and the boss is tek that fing vest off and im its a cold day boss and tek that fing hat off too and then its a day like any day i put my head out the hole and they hit me with a mallet no matter what hole i guess at and after a hard day theres the stage door johnnies out the back wanting the special it really is not a good job

Thursday, 15 January 2015

Stripey Pajamas

Max Mosley clearly did not indulge in erm... any fantasy to do with any extermination camp, fictional or otherwise.

And is clearly not a Nazi, fantasist or otherwise, or otherwise.



No, REALLY NOT, and Google's removal of

REALLY NOT

Saturday, 10 January 2015

Daddy Wouldn't Buy Me a Tarnhelm


Blogberich: I went and renounced Love the other day.

Readers: What you get?

Blogberich:Nothing.


Readers:

Blogberich: Not even a hat.

Readers: What, like Kiss Me Quick like you used to.

Blogberich: No, you don't even get a hat nowadays, apparently.


Thursday, 8 January 2015

Ohh I Feel So Oooold

Sir Dave Attenboro sounding off about Glooobal Warning here:

"Never in the history of humanity in the last 10 million years have all human beings got together to face one danger that threatens us - never."

Well, you might push back the clock to the earliest hominids around 7 million years ago, australopithecines say 4 million years ago, Homo habilis about 2.3 million years ago, Homo sapiens 200,000 years ago... but 10 million?

And for how long have all human beings had the capacity to get together for any reason at all? A few hundred years? A century or two?

Smallpox, anyone?

Bosh.

Pen Mightier Than Sword &c

No it isn't.

Sunday, 4 January 2015

Let's Play 'Spot the Difference'

Between the Conservatives' "Road to Recovery" poster


and this, an iStock/Getty Images picture taken by one Alexander Burzik near Weimar


This photograph of specimen morons, on the other hand, does not resemble a road in Weimar

Wednesday, 24 December 2014

A Pareidolic Christmas to One and All













 
Readers: Oh my, it's those Ancient Egyptians at th'Temple of Seti I at Abydos a-and they got attack helicopters an' fighter-bombers an' underwater killer boats a-and
                                                  an eight-legged bee
                                                                                   from th'Astronaut Gods!

Blogaeologist: Worry not, my little pals, is probably the names of Seti I and Ramasses II, one cut over the other, or a similar SNAFU. Just pareidolia, that's all.


Pareidolia: perceiving the distinct and meaningful in obscure or random stimuli.


Readers: Phew. That explains it. Th'eight-legged bee, f'rinstance...

Blogagogue: Try this one...


Monday, 22 December 2014

Winter Solstice + 1


Missed posting on the Winter Solstice by a day because I fell asleep. Oh well, only 87 days to go to the Vernal Equinox and the sun can start warming me old bones.

Wednesday, 17 December 2014

Women Are From Venus, Men Are Idiots

A fine research paper brought to us by the BMJ: "Sex Differences in Idiotic Behaviour", an analysis of Darwin Award winners...

To qualify, nominees must improve the gene pool by eliminating themselves from the human race using astonishingly stupid methods. Northcutt cites a number of worthy candidates. These include the thief attempting to purloin a steel hawser from a lift shaft, who unbolted the hawser while standing in the lift, which then plummeted to the ground, killing its occupant; the man stealing a ride home by hitching a shopping trolley to the back of a train, only to be dragged two miles to his death before the train was able to stop; and the terrorist who posted a letter bomb with insufficient postage stamps and who, on its return, unthinkingly opened his own letter. 

Never won a Darwin Award myself, but it's on my bucket list.

Thursday, 11 December 2014

Mr. Lovenstein









Mr. Lovenstein for all your Christmas Cheer needs.