Saturday, 23 March 2013

Forever Alone

I know it is sad, and that I am sad...

...but I just love th'interwebs.

Everybody's Friend

Thanks to your floppy-haired imaginary friend and Prime Minister (what, you haven't seen "Love, Actually" which stars me as a floppy-haired imaginary friend and Prime Minister)...

Readers: Have you actually seen "Love Actually"?

Blogster: No, I haven't, actually. I have never actually seen a film in which Hugh fucking Grant has actually appeared. Nor either an actually television series. I believe he has actually appeared in many Jane-Austin-related costume farces which I have not actually seen either.

Readers: Why u no get real? Hugh fucking Grant has gone so much lot of trouble to help you see what is. What IS. WHY U NOOO???

I Am So Sorry

I cannot tell you how sorry I am for not posting more frequently.

Best I can do is "not". I am not sorry at all. Nor are you.

I founded this blog with the sincere intention of creating a rubbish dump for those wormy hobby-horsical loose shifty random mental spasms aka "thoughts" that crept up and mugged me from time to time.

Reality has overtaken me. I am no longer able to compete with the madness out there and

Readers: Hate to interrupt you in mid-flow but would you care to publish some news?*snurk*

Blogista: My cat Tiddles has died.

Readers: Now we fucking GOT YA COLD, is a bulti-billion pound fine and time up before the beak. I mean the fucking judge, dirtbag.

Blogista: I don't even have a cat. I was just making that up.

Readers: You print what Hugh fucking Grant TELLS you to print and you fucking print it when Hugh fucking Grant fucking TELLS you to fucking print it, orright?

Blogista: In breaking news, my goldfish Tiddles has some fungus on his gills. Defiant to the end, eh?

Hugh fucking Grant:  You fucking don't print that til I tolt yew to fucking print that OKAY?

Russian Mafia: Sort Cyprus. Don't nick our money.Word to the wise.