Saturday, 26 December 2009

Good Cheer!

Wishing a Merry Boxing Day to all our readers!

And a Happy and Prosperous New Sputnik Fall! May the sky not fall on your head!

No scaffolding poles, grand pianos, ice-blocks from passing aircraft, the aforesaid aircraft themselves, batteries or any other sub-thermospheric item or items whatsoever either singularly or severally is or are included in this offer.

Sputnik 1 fell to Earth on January 4th, so anything could happen in the next 8 days. Sorry about that.

Monday, 21 December 2009

Anal Intercourse Reconsidered

I have kicked about this planet for over half a century - I am approaching my 52nd year - and I cannot honestly say that I see any much point in anal intercourse*.

Other insights to follow when, and - or if - I have any.

*[edit] I should have added - "any more". I was in my green days an aficionado.

Goodwill to All Men

This year I am not in a " festive" mood.

Quite the opposite in fact.

Saturday, 5 December 2009




...but that's enough about me.

Selling a russian-language artsy-voguesy hypheny-hypheny phoo phoo magazine in a box for £4.50 out of W H Smiths at Charing Cross Station is blackholeuarly way more fuck off than poor Jeremy Clarkson's pitiful doing puddles on your carpet. Using Cyrillic script as a marketing tool is... BUY THINGS YOU DON'T UNNERSTAN'

Which is hem hem th'zeitgeist innit no.

Yes I bought one but I know how to deal with substances. Also emanations - free tip here, if you are approached by an ectoplasm just hit it with your walking stick and watch it unfurl or snap back into the groin of the emanator. I have much wisdom but I can't afford to give everything away for free I am a poor man too, and if you won't pay for advice you won't act on it.