Wednesday, 21 December 2011

Fuck Off Radio 4

I am unemployed again, somewhat but not largely due to alcoholism.

The worst thing about unemployment and somewhat alcoholism is Radio 4. I end up listening to it all day while sitting in a freezing flat poking away at job prospects on the Interweb.

Repeated twice today, some amuse-the-middlebrows twat has been busy claiming that the entire English language relates back to farting.

Terms such as 'feisty', 'clamorous', 'caring', 'honourable', 'decent', 'reasonable', 'intelligent' and 'so forth' all supposedly strandentwine back to some embarrassed OED suggestion about the onomatopoedic... clattering of the buttocks.

Just after14:00 tomorrow it will be the Archers again and then more stupid nonsense and more fat girls doing stuff in Brighton and

Thursday, 24 November 2011

Die Rechnung

A seasonal website here at Danse Macabre. And by seasonal I don't just mean Thanksgiving or the Winter Solstice or Christmas or my Birthday next April. Or next Christmas.

Who Do You Think You Are Kidding M Barroso

Now don't you go telling our Mr Cameron to fuck off.

Wednesday, 7 September 2011

Fresh from the Bubbling Springs of Greenwich

...we bring you "Time Itself", drawn from its very Fountainhead and lovingly bottled, corked and labelled by colourful yet patient indigenes who will accept nothing less than the purest of perfection.

Show them a bouteille of Source du Temps and they will spit on the ground. Surely no self-respecting sommelier would offer a product with artificial hour added? But he would, and they do.

Break open a flask of "New York Minute" in their presence and you will be lucky to live. Short of so many essential ingredients, you might as well buy a fake Rolex from a Times Square hustler.

Now available in a handy spray-on format for your shower or car.

Thursday, 7 April 2011

Monday, 28 February 2011

End of the Depression

At long last I am in a full-time well-paid Job and no longer as unemployed and bankrupt as Ireland.

I have a lovely girlfriend to entertain me at weekends.

I may never have to listen to Radio 4 again!

Pictured: Woman's Hour.