Monday, 24 December 2012

A Merry Christmas to All My Reader

This magnificent figure is the Mammoth of Frost from Tomtor in the Oymyakonskii Region of the the Sakha Republic.

Sunday, 23 December 2012

Every Time We Say Goodbye

So the world didn't end on Friday...

Readers: Fools

...but here in the Soviet Union on Sea something died a little, and is now - like unto a kipper sewn into the lining of the Master's chair of

Readers: Get on with it

Women are now charged the same car insurance rates as men, despite the fact that they tend to do dints not damage. And men now get the same annuity rates on their pensions as women, despite the fact that they tend to croak sooner.

Readers: You're about to say that in a free society it is reason, not ideology, that is the prevailing spirit

And it

Readers: And a proposition founded upon actuarial tables is a rational one, open to challenge and discussion by the demos

What I

Readers: Whereas laws founded on undefined and non-reasoned terms like "Equality" baffle any attempt by the aforesaid demos to make sense of them, let alone debate about or change them

Yes but

Readers: And Friday 21st December 2012 marks a small step on the road to that unreason, one might say anti-reason, that is the hallmark, once of a primitive, but these days of a totalitarian society

What the

Readers: But you are not about to hit Caps Lock and start ranting about "ever closer fascism union" because it is only Pensions and Insurance so nobody would take you  seriously

I AM F


Saturday, 22 December 2012

Beacon of the Rational Now

The Beacon Of the Rational Now (as advertised in the New Scientist) has a countdown to the Winter Solstice of 2021 (Final Countdown) and another to the Spring Equinox 2013 (Quest).

All very informative, but what was the point of kicking it off this Winter Solstice (at 11:11) after so much advertising? Maybe there's one B.O.R.N. a minute. The timers are at least 12 hours fast by my reckoning. Is this significant?

Nice Emily Dickinson poem though.

A kind anonymous contributor points out that 2020-21 is the next Chinese Year of the Rat in keeping with the RATional theme. To be precise, since that is what we are doing, 24 January 2020 – 11 February 2021.

For some reason I am getting to like the Beacon of the Rational Now a lot. It cheers me up and that takes something these days.

Update: the creator seems to be Megan Axelsson and thanks to Bertie Wooles for the tip.

Monday, 17 December 2012

Those Mayan Prophecies

Blogista: Only four days to go, eh, readers.

Readers: What, to the end of the world?

Blogista: No, to my next washday and the disappearance of another sock.

Readers: Oh lawks that's eerie.

Sunday, 16 December 2012

Nom Nom Nom

For what is a TV Chef profited, if he shall eat the whole world, and lose his own soul...

Thursday, 13 December 2012

The Previous, Illustrated


Readers: What's with the third one then.

Blogista: Old-fashioned English pronunciation.

Readers: Ah.

Wednesday, 12 December 2012

Your Government at Work

From today's Grauniad:
It also tried to appease more than 100 Tory MPs planning to vote against the legislation by outlining a new "quadruple lock" that will make it illegal for gay marriage ceremonies to be conducted by the churches of England and Wales.

Start with a simple proposition of no interest whatever to 80% of the population, turn it into a burgeoning bureaucratic-political snarl-up complete with its own Terminology and in a very real sense make the situation much worse than it was before.

I cannot find a picture of an Utter Cake and Arse Party on the interwebs.

Friday, 3 August 2012

Political Capital

Asked in an interview with French newspaper Le Monde if the euro was in danger, Mr Draghi said: "No, absolutely not. We see analysts imagining the scenario of a euro zone blow-up."

"They don't recognise the political capital that our leaders have invested in this union and Europeans' support. The euro is irreversible," he added.

Wednesday, 25 July 2012

Weltschmerz

Off to mad ramblings for a much needed dose of joy.

Weltschmerz is indeed a good word, the deity clearing his throat as a museum attendant might when a visitor becomes over-excited and threatens to handle an exhibit.

Off to Work We Go

Off to Oxford Street tomorrow where a job agency is holding a walk-in Olympic Games job day. Walk in from 08:00, present passport and CV, get job. Well I bloody hope so anyway. Sitting at home all day slurping the daily ration of Famous Grouse (I am keeping it down to 1 bottle) and calculating on what day I will run out of money and have to kill myself is no fun at all.

Maybe they'll give me a gat and a rocket and put me on security. That would be cool.

Saturday, 21 July 2012

Pity the Neighbours



Headphones? You can't bounce off the walls with headphones.

Anyhows, is the Skatalites with  Doreen Shaeffer.

Sunday, 22 April 2012

House and Home(land)

He! Eeenglish!
No more flop hair and suck penos at car.
No more Steffanfri.
No more Meester Bin.

Tuesday, 17 April 2012

Fotos of Hairy Fadges

Readers: Oh. We were expecting photographs of... well, you know.

Blogista: Yes. I too feel disappointed. Cheated, even. Though it is true that 'fadge' can refer to flat Irish potato cakes, inter alia.

Readers: They aren't even hairy.

Blogista: Is there no end to our misfortune?

Are You..?

Are you
  • just past your 54th birthday?
  • long-term unemployed?
  • recovering from multiple fractures to the right shoulder?
  • insomniac?
  • only sober because you couldn't be arsed today to go down Tesco for the daily bottle of Famous Grouse?
  • possessed of assets totalling a mere £750 in this world?
  • too depressed to write to your nephews and nieces thanking them for their lovely birthday cards?
  • having to look up 'possess' and 'niece' because your brain is so corroded that your spelling is suspect?
If so you get no sympathy from me, unless you've just broken your other arm trying to get out of the bath. I nearly did just now. My heart goes out to you.

Old Russia in Colour

A blog devoted to old Russia in Colour.

Featuring the photographs of S. M. Produkin-Gorskii,  who toured Russia between 1909 and 1915 along with a railway darkroom car provided by Nicholas II.

Friday, 13 January 2012

Those Killer Sausages

Sausages kill.

Worried Reader: What if I swallow an aspirin after consuming a sausage?

Blogtor: The aspirin will thin your blood but you will suffer from internal bleeding. Before either really takes effect the sausage will kill you.

Worried Reader: Then I will not eat this sausage. Thank you, Blogtor.

Blogtor: No need to thank me. Saving lives is what I do.

Turks Disgusting

The Turks would appear to be disgusting or worse.