Tuesday 17 April 2012

Are You..?

Are you
  • just past your 54th birthday?
  • long-term unemployed?
  • recovering from multiple fractures to the right shoulder?
  • insomniac?
  • only sober because you couldn't be arsed today to go down Tesco for the daily bottle of Famous Grouse?
  • possessed of assets totalling a mere £750 in this world?
  • too depressed to write to your nephews and nieces thanking them for their lovely birthday cards?
  • having to look up 'possess' and 'niece' because your brain is so corroded that your spelling is suspect?
If so you get no sympathy from me, unless you've just broken your other arm trying to get out of the bath. I nearly did just now. My heart goes out to you.

2 comments:

x said...

Close. Bashed my left shoulder slipping on the ice a few weeks back and nearly bashed my right today doing that archetypal thing that nobody has ever actually, really done since the world began, slipping on a banana skin. Mustn't leave them on the conservatory floor in future. If I had injured myself, nobody would have believed I slipped on a banana skin, almost as implausible as the old fell on a golfball while showering thing. (Although I prefer a cricket ball personally)

Hard to tell with you Mr C but hope you ain't seriously down.

Chertiozhnik said...

I am seriously down. But slipping on a banana skin like that, well that gave me a laugh that did, gave me a lift.

My g/f is a nurse and she keeps telling me about frozen shoulder and necrosis and that. I wish she was a financier instead.