Fresh from the Bubbling Springs of Greenwich

...we bring you "Time Itself", drawn from its very Fountainhead and lovingly bottled, corked and labelled by colourful yet patient indigenes who will accept nothing less than the purest of perfection.

Show them a bouteille of Source du Temps and they will spit on the ground. Surely no self-respecting sommelier would offer a product with artificial hour added? But he would, and they do.

Break open a flask of "New York Minute" in their presence and you will be lucky to live. Short of so many essential ingredients, you might as well buy a fake Rolex from a Times Square hustler.

Now available in a handy spray-on format for your shower or car.

Well.

Looks like we have.

WARRR against er LIBYA

We continue to be totally winning this one.

Tired Old Hippy Plays Country

Or is the country playing him.

Next week... the Wurzels play Nazi Germany.

End of the Depression

At long last I am in a full-time well-paid Job and no longer as unemployed and bankrupt as Ireland.

I have a lovely girlfriend to entertain me at weekends.



I may never have to listen to Radio 4 again!


Pictured: Woman's Hour.

Towards a Ginger Rodent Highlander Bakeoff

Okay, Edinburgh is not the Highlands but it is closer than Harley Street.

Bishop

This bishop's mitre is a true work of art, simple and subtle yet very elegant. Created in white and gold it is classy and tasteful, ideal for any bishop. A high quality mitre at an affordable price, this mitre would make a great gift for a bishop upon his ordination or anniversary. Please measure head size carefully and accurately as mitres are custom made and cannot be returned.