Friday, 25 April 2014

Fun Personality Test

  • you are long-term unemployed, income £72 per week;
  • your bedsit is cold and draughty enough in the summer, never mind mid-winter;
  • the thermals aren't helping much, have got smelly and make you feel like a retired trapper;
  • Radio 4 has long ago become unbearable, Radio 3 is doing something altogether too tootly, isolation in silence is demoralising.
Do you:

a) turn on the heating for a while to take the edge off the chill and tune into Magic FM because it is your ex-girlfriend's favourite station?

b) head down the local J D Wetherspoon late afternoon and stay drinking doubles until closing time, with a hail-fellow-and-well-met for all of your Wetherspoon friends and a bottle of Famous Grouse in your coat pocket for that all-night central heating effect, thus every day for 10 months?

c) return, defeated once again, to Alcoholics Anonymous, where the coffee, biscuits and welcomes are free, for ninety meetings in ninety days?

You answered:

a) you are perhaps a little sentimental, but fundamentally sane.

b) and c) you are me and already knew the answer because you devised the Test.


x said...

Your blog worries me at times, I never know if you are being serious or not.

If you are, why not pop down here and share a vodka with a fellow loony deadbeat?

x said...

Eating free cakes at my bereavement club thing the other day and was thinking that it should be possible to get fed for free if I signed up to enough of them. AA sounds good, do they do free vodka?

Chertiozhnik said...

Unfortunately this one is serious... so tea or coffee, cakes and biscuits, and absolutely no vodka, whiskey, chef's sauces wiz per'aps a soupçon of fane brandy, pour m'sieu, non?


x said...

Any form of catering other than pouring vodka is quite beyond my ability but there are lots of cafes and teashops round here, full of sexy old ladies with walking sticks.

Are you still in Mitcham? If a bit of Sussex countryside appeals drop me an email and I will send details.

Chertiozhnik said...

An enticing invitation Mr X, but at the moment I would neck a bottle of vodka in one swallow and then go hunting for the rest of the crate.

It would be lovely to visit Sussex but I had better wait until my 90 Meetings in 90 Days is up and I have worked the 12 Steps, I'll be a better alcoholic by then.