Fun Personality Test

Conundrum:

• you are long-term unemployed, income £72 per week;
• your bedsit is cold and draughty enough in the summer, never mind mid-winter;
• the thermals aren't helping much, have got smelly and make you feel like a retired trapper;
• Radio 4 has long ago become unbearable, Radio 3 is doing something altogether too tootly, isolation in silence is demoralising.

Do you:

a) turn on the heating for a while to take the edge off the chill and tune into Magic FM because it is your ex-girlfriend's favourite station?

b) head down the local J D Wetherspoon late afternoon and stay drinking doubles until closing time, with a hail-fellow-and-well-met for all of your Wetherspoon friends and a bottle of Famous Grouse in your coat pocket for that all-night central heating effect, thus every day for 10 months?

c) return, defeated once again, to Alcoholics Anonymous, where the coffee, biscuits and welcomes are free, for ninety meetings in ninety days?

You answered:

a) you are perhaps a little sentimental, but fundamentally sane.

b) and c) you are me and already knew the answer because you devised the Test.