What Does a Real Man Smell Of

A goat in rut.

Plus..!

- or, just a goat;
- salts of aluminium and naphthenic and palmitic acids but mostly gasoline;
- honey, are you sure this vodka comes from a state-approved distillery;
- the car in the showroom;
- stale semen;
- Pall Mall unfiltered;
- that too;
- more goats;
- cheap aftershave (optional).

Political Debate

Citizens: Public sector budgets have already been cut by 12%.

All of them.

We know that.

Politicians: Which is why we are appealing to the people you can fool all of the time.

Radio

Shock Jock: And what about that footballer having sexual intercourse.

Callers: It wasn't with his wife. Or his.

Shock Jock: Who does? Just stirring things up here heh.

Callers: It's like... you're scrambling eggs with a wooden spoon. If I had of said - here is a scrambled egg -

Shock Jock: If you should have said that...

Callers: Then okay I scrambled these eggs with my penis. I put my hands up.

Shock Jock: Okay it is eight-oh-two and it's the next big topic - is Global Warning?

Precepts: an Epistemoligical Approach

Blogonius: Neither a follower nor a leader be.

Readers: There's another big one sunk.

Inside a Modern Brain

Next week: what Artists are like, and why Woman's Hour* cannot cope with concepts like "where r is the radiance of the whole measure of the boundary factor" because they are girls. Offer strictly limited to one Hour per Woman.

* or Kirsty off Desert Island Discs**.

** Melvyn Bragg on the other hand fells an entire cultural or scientific corpus once a week every week with the aplomb of an executioner proving his skill on an ox.

Golfer Has a Fuck or Two

I've never apologised. Then again nobody has ever asked me to.

Am I winning yet?

Sexual Intercourse - Don't Worry, Be Happy

Readers: What am I to do.







Counsellor: Actually it is you who owe us. It is you who are bankrupt, not us. Think about it.








Counsellor: We can come an arrangement, if you are prepared to be humble and honest.


Pohaps if you thought about it you would end up sensible.