Thursday, 15 October 2009

Oh No

The karaoke machine appears to have come from a far superior alien planet whose inhabitants are ahead of ours*** technichologhicallhy. We can only ask you to remain calm and listen alertly and yet humbly to their communications.

Listeners: Can't we go back to the sort of homely collation of 'facts' that Radio 4 is so good at presenting?

United Nations Emergency Talking Shop: Having a writerly lesbian present every single radio clip you've got about the moon landing stuff plus anything that has ever had the word 'moon' in it...

: Yes but now we've got a serial about radishes throughout human history presented by a person of a darker but not necessarily worse persuasion at 11:30 on Wednesdays with an omnibus edition at 10:00 on Sundays and then there's the Archers and Falloon might have or be about to fuck somebody or eat them and on television Sir Richard Atenbo is got some pics of one animal eating enothe and fucking it which is Nature and they eat each other specially the penquins and th'bears and radishes were a form of currency in Early Hirsute Turkey but by the Medieval Ages the radish became a "salmagundy" which is the sort of salad grown in Anglia...

Aliens: That's really badass seals eating th'penquins.

***Listeners: Isn't an "ours" a sort of bear, they eat salmon you know. And they're hairy.


OHara said...

Be badder-ass if the penguins ate the seals.
Coming to your Disney screens next week.

Chertiozhnik said...

Baddest-ass is a BBCTV crew eating everything, including Sr D Attenboro'

Actually they totally didn't, and I won't reveal

Anyone can do an impersonation, is what I'm saying.

All you need is a hat and a packet of Fisherman's Friends. You will reply, same with any porno and I will say, also you need socks for the gents.