Monday, 22 September 2008

The DP Brothers

I have only one remaining reader, and he claims to be worth exactly as much as I am as a gigolo.

1,102 dollars per hour. But what sort of dollar?

AUD? BSD? BBD? BZD? BND? CAD? KYD? XCD? FJD? GYD? JMD? LRD? NAD? NZD? SGD? SBD? SRD? TWD? TTD? USD? ZWD?

(How much are you worth? Take the test!)

Ladies! Imagine the pleasure of being gently but urgently TAKEN by two menroots at once. Mr. X will see to the more unmentionable end, I am sure. Me, I am only delihgt machine at your service of desire. It will be like a uncrontollable indstrial accident in a plastic tubing extrusion plant, only more wiggly.

Please do not be surprised when I demand cash up front in the Maldive Islands Rufiyaa (MVR), an ISO4217 registered currency.

I wash behind my ears and cut my toenails regularly and am clean of didease, including cattle didsease. I assume Mr. X. does the same.

Cattle dideaseases I have never been caught out wid include -

Acetonaemia: or, ketosis - and I thought ketosis meant something differen'
Muhh - I got confused with kenosis. Not a cattle disiease.

Acorn poisoning: 'Nuff said. Go eady on dem acornz, bro sta acornz clean.

Anfrax: Feh, i never had even seen a anfrax in my man hair.

Babesiosis (redwater fever): This parasitic disease is usually first reported in May/June when its tick host first becomes active. It is September, no worries bebeh.

Bloat in Cattle: Spring an' Autumn, well is nearly winter, or anyhows fkin cold for Spteberer.

Bluetongue (BVT): The disease is non-contagious and is only transmitted by insect vectors. The disease is caused by a virus belonging to the family Reoviridae. Well, I nver had no dealing wiv that famileh an it's non-cottageous. Don' uk a gif hoss in the mout' hehe.

Anyway I got no cattle dieses and nor don't Mr. X.

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5 comments:

x said...

Gigolo, yes, I wasn't suggesting rent boy, not for a moment.

OHara said...

Hey - I occasionally pop by too. It's not my fault I keep finding other ways to occupy my time - latest is walking. I'm very good at it. They will be photos soon of some amazing scenery on my trek up Mt Snowdon. When I say soon...

Chertiozhnik said...

Sooooon...

I walk up and down my room all the time, when I am not in the bath. Even then I twitch, which is good exercise.

So, look forward to the photies.

Ohara said...

Hmm. I forgot. I am rubbish.

Chertiozhnik said...

If there were a rubbish competition, I would win at a canter.

Don't even think about mounting a challenge.