Sunday, 16 November 2008

Secret Agent

A shriek as General... as Peter Lorre flips a chocolate button between her breasts.

It matters.

I have not bothered with a James Bond fillum for twenty years and am not tempted by the bovine Mr D Craig in the latest "outing"s.

"Secret Agent" (clicky on the linky 2 c th'flicky), directed by Alfred Hitchcock, and starring John Gielgud, Peter Lorre, Madeleine Carroll, Robert Young - now there's a patchy and rather weird motion picture the way they used to make them.

Call me old and cranky but...

Readers: You are old, Father Blogiam, the young Readers said. And cranky.

"Oh I say, don't cry yet, have a cigarette." Everybody smokes for England in this flim and I approve the sentiment if not the methodology.

The days when I could puff contentedly at a Navy Cut or a Capstan Full Strength --- or a Number 6 ---

Tomorrow to the tobacconist on Church Street for a couple of boxes of oval Turkish, some proper untipped cigarettes and maybe a churchwarden pipe. Dammit.


x said...

Yes, you are a terrible old fart Mr C, why can't you be modern and trendy like me? I am surprised you don't have several huge crates of circa 1957 Craven A tucked away in your attic.

Ohara said...

There'll be an under-the-counter item soon. Then you can feel really naughty.

Chertiozhnik said...

I'm not surprised about the lack of Craven "A" in my attic - because I don't have an attic!

(Laughs incontinently at this circa 1957 riposte until incontinently wets own troons and is wheeled away by Nurse, who frowns at mischievous Mr X for leading him on).

Everything will be "under the counter" before long, Ms O'H, and shopping will be a nightmare.

Shopista: Anything for... sale?

Mr Tesco: Oh no Sir nothing here Sir.

Shopista (conspiratorially): Perhaps a packet of something for the weekend?

Mr Tesco: I'm sure I don't know what you mean. Sir.

Shopista: maybe you have a packet of - crisps?

Mr Tesco:

Shopista: Cigarettes? Disposable nappies? Green beans from abroad, perhaps from Nigeria? A packet of, shall we say, chocolate biscuits?

Mr Tesco: As you see Sir, we have thirty-two aisles packed with life-affirming and Government-approved anal sex DVDs. You cannot live without love, Sir.

Shopista (desperate): yes, but maybe a packet of... well, COD FILLETS?

Mr Tesco: I shall have to call the Police, Sir.

OHara said...

*Mirth* Too close to the truth, I fear.