Thursday, 21 May 2009

Blue Lotion

Hi Everyone,

I am given a spray bottle with blue liquid in it to use for cleaning purposes. If the table top is dirty I spray the blue liquid on it and then wipe it off. Now I am out of the blue liquid, how do you I request for more? Do I say (1) I need more "blue liquid"?; (2) I need more spray blue liquid?; (3) I need more blue liquid cleaner? I pick choice number 3, what do you think? Thanks in advance.


Gordon Gould said...

I think your approach is very selfish. You should help out the person you are speaking to by letting him/her know the particular wavelength of blue (in nm, please) you are looking for. Salespeople are not mind readers, you know.

Chertiozhnik said...

You are right to suspect that I am at least selfish, if not a 100% bastard.

But I am tired of going to a shop and asking for some blue lotion for the crabs and the shop asssistant is all what blue lotion for the crabs a little blapse of my X-ray and you WILL BE ABLE TO SEE CLEARLY.

So I am saying, a blue lotion spray for my pubic lice and suddenly ZZZZZT I have 20/20 vision.

I do not want to see them, I say, I just want to corral them in some way. A blue lotion spray application would do the trick.

But can you buy anything worthwhile these days?

Chertiozhnik said...

Now that I can see things and have got a botox grin accidentally from the perfume counter (count 'em) I am thinking of trading up

My next girlfriend will be able to say more than "woof".

August Moreau said...

Dear Mr. C.:

Crabs is nothing that a little vivisection cannot cure. My practice speciality is the excision of various and sundry unwanted wee beasties. I can also replace your body parts with those of any large beastie you might like -- or which your future girlfriends might like, if you catch my drift.



Chertiozhnik said...

Thank you, M Moreau, but the crabs are complaining that they are already tired of the circumnavigation.

It's like having to walk all the way round the block when you bump into the Empire State Building, they tell me. Couldn't you build a subway?

I fear that an extension would also mean that I would need to be preceded by a couple of footmen crying out "Make way for Milord!" and finding reliable servants these days is sooo difficult.