Friday, 15 May 2009

Very Funny

Mr Suicide the bathplug. Perhaps not the exact model some semi-sentient Minister of State or other claimed for on th'Expensives, but it is a bathplug all the same. And what of it?

Take the worst totally outrageously expensively-claimey OUTRAGEOUS amount of money claimed on expenses by an MP for something hatefully bourgeouis like a patio heater, a fitted kitchen (with just to add to the fear and loathing POLISHED ITALIAN GRANITE WORKING SURFACES)... I want you to keep thinking of that number, k?

Now move the decimal point one place to the right.

At this moment 99.9recurring% of my potential readers (not my 1/2 doz. actual readers, who are supremely intelligent, I mean the British population at large) are fucked. Either they don't know what I am talking about or they have no idea how much 10x a number they didn't comprehend in the first place, actually is.

Or how it compares to the broad and placid river of EU peculation, or to the costo-benefito of building a lorra lorra luvly windmills (don't even try to mention th'megawatty stuff here) or to anything else at all. Or whether it matters or how things should be done or...

Give me your dopes, your dupes
Your huddled morons yearning to be heard,
The wretched refuse of your teeming fools...

If only the Ruritanians had accidentally carved that on a statue in 1886, or five years ago for that matter...

60000000th cretin: Hey, last person to leave Britain turn out the lights hur hur.
Readers: Yeah yeah a great and original jest, have fun in Ruritania, won't you.
Devil's Kitchen, Guido etc: Look, I fucking said that joke before you did you bastards.

What will this mindless petulance about MPs' expenses actually achieve or change, that matters a lot?


Now, concentrate on the decimal point...

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