Tuesday, 5 May 2009

Spam

Alien #6044: /this just in/

Alien Supreme Commander: /why you risk death by show spam/

Alien #541: /spam negative: recover from puny interstellar craft/

Alien Supreme Commander: /hm right upper appendage on left entity appear larger than brainsprout and left upper appendage/

Alien #666: /report: appear to be artefacts of poor engraving technique/

Alien Supreme Commander: /also: to left entity inconsequential organ of geniture/

Alien #7: /and to right entity unaccountably shaven pussy: as reconstitutes will be like performing cunnilingus upon shoebrush/

Alien Supreme Commander: /negative artefacts of poor engraving technique: positive contempt of species for urgent communications regarding increased penis size, hairy milfs &c , also they never got in touch with my Uncle Rastus in Nigeria about the $250,000,000 he needed to ship out of there using one of their bank accounts/

Alien #1001: /observe exaggerated trapezius: species unable to wear collar and tie/

All Aliens: /ewwwwww/

5 comments:

OHara said...

At least he's waving.

Chertiozhnik said...

Not drowning.

Anonymous said...

Let's hope they never get their record player to work:

http://voyager.jpl.nasa.gov/spacecraft/audio/chimpanzee.wav

Translation: "Soylent Green is monkeys!!!"

Although the Queen of the Night aria by Edda Moser isn't bad.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZNEOl4bcfkc

http://voyager.jpl.nasa.gov/spacecraft/music.html

Anonymous said...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e_a3gIA0sRA&feature=related

This one is truly excremental.

Chertiozhnik said...

Excremental? That Men's House Song from Papua New Ginea really does it for me.

If we'd sent them a DVD of "Saturday Night Fever", some flared nylon trousers and a kebab with lashings of garlic sauce, they'd probably just have urinated in our hedge and gone away again.

Come to think of it, maybe that's what they have done.

Advanced civilisation, space travel, poh.