Monday, 31 December 2007

Resolutions 2008

1) Really totally no more drinking. Alcoholics Anonymous is my home from home. What has drinking ever brought me but ruin?

2) And this year I am really going to be bothered about ruin.

3) And no more sex. I turn 50 in 2008. I have had a good innings: 1000+ and still keen to wield the old willow. But looking back, only about 0.002% of them were sane. Attrition, it was always the attrition.

4) Canadian Air Force 5BX. Because it is unfitting that ones centre of gravity should even begin to resemble a sack of turnips.

5) Cooking. That is what men do, and exceptionally well.

6) Money. Everything I know about money, I learned from the cardboard pennies and threepenny pieces and sixpences which smelt deliciously of my primary school teacher's husband's tobacco tin. Time to move on.

7) Stop being so bloody nice. Without becoming ill-mannered.

8) Eat Tokyo. Graaraargharrgh.

9) What is the opposite of "ambiguous"? Find out and live the life.

10) Get a coffee-table book. And a coffee table to put it on. Simple, achievable.


Wickedred said...

Cooking? Is that really what men do? I've only know two that can, and one of them broke my soul.

Good luck and godspeed on eating Tokoyo! I would suggest a smaller city to warm up with - perhaps Cleveland, Ohio.

Happy New Year!

Chertiozhnik said...

I suspect that Cleveland OH would taste a bit like Quorn with stringy bits in it.

Maybe luncheon, on a bad day in early February.

Happy New Year!

Mad Dog said...

Cleveland Ohio was the first place I ever dined in the US. This might explain a lot of things. Tokyo is much more interesting (and a lot less fattening than some of the stuff I've been eating for the last week.

The resolutions look sound but while you're tackling the Canadian airforce torture manual you might want to ditch the ciggies as well (they will kill you prematurely).

Chertiozhnik said...

If leaning out of the window coughing for five minutes after one press-up is anything to go by...

Resolution number 11.