Blogista: Hello, readers, I'm going for the Guiness Book of Records record for being Sad. That's why I'm sitting here at 04:22 looking up train times between nowhere and...
Readers: How do we know that you aren't in Holyhead? Or Farnham?
Readers: And how do you know that we aren't?
Blogista: I think it is a fair assumption that...
Readers: "Assume" begins with an "ass".
Blogista: I'm more of a tits man, myself.
Readers: Fehhhhhh we all know that's not true.