Friday 8 May 2009

Treasury Adds 10000000000000000000 or more to the Money















In a surprise move yesterday, a consultant at the Her Majesty's Treasury was instructed to put his finger on the "zero" button of his computer and to hold it there until further notice.

Somebody told me to do this and then he ran way and hid in the cupboard, said the consultant today.

I'm not really a consultant anyway, just a temp, if you want to know why I'm doing this ask the man in the cupboard.

11 comments:

Anonymous said...

Dear Blogger:

Please be advised that Her Majesty's Treasury(TM) is a protected mark of The Goldman Sachs Group, Inc. You are hearby instructed to cease and desist your unauthorized use of this term and are further advised to cease and desist the unauthorized use of the terms European Central Bank(TM), Treasury of the United States(TM), or Federal Reserve(TM) or, yes, People's Republic of China(TM). If you are wondering what an authorized use of these terms would be, that is because you are an unauthorized user. Authorized users know full well what authorized use is and you are clearly not one of them. So knock it off.

In closing, we thank you for your interest in the economic health of your nation and of the global community. Please be assured that all appropriate steps are being taken to restore your nation to its former "vigour" and prosperity.

Rest assured that everything is under (our)control. For other readers of this blog: nothing to see here, move along please.

Very truly yours,

Your friends at The Goldman Sachs Group, Inc.

:)

xoggoth said...

Bet I can geuss who that is.

Anonymous said...

@xoggoth: bet you can't.

Chertiozhnik said...

@both, bet it isn't Ms O'Hara a penny at 1000000000000000000000000000
to 1 against.

I will even do this geometrically not arithmetically, so if you win you will own most of the universe.

Or lose a penny.

Anonymous said...

I am authorized to accept the high return investment on behalf of Goldman Sachs provided xoggoth agrees to a credit default swap that will only come due in the unlikely event of your default.

Anonymous said...

I am authorized to accept the high return investment on behalf of Goldman Sachs provided xoggoth agrees to a credit default swap that will only come due in the unlikely event of your default.

Chertiozhnik said...

I didn't pull m'finger off of the button quick enough and when the man came out of the cupboard again he was all oh shit that's 375000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000
more "pounds" than we expected.

And I'm all like fuck you.

And he sez d'you realise, do you even realise what you gone done only prolly the inflation rate minus housing is going to peak at around 4986231864000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000]]
poicents tomow.

And I'm all fuck you I'm not running th'fucken dodgem cars.

OHara said...

It seems to be all the rage to be anon these days, I fly in the face of fashion so sign my name accordingly.

Ohara said...

P.S sticky buttons are bound to be a problem considering the abundance of wankers at the treasury

Chertiozhnik said...

Kind of a toss-up between working for Ann Summers or th' Treasury.

Personally I would go for Ann Summers even though (in my one experience of playing with their toys) their toys break or fall apart the moment they are put to use.

Still a better record than the treasury.

Chertiozhnik said...

Anyway his name might actually be "Mr Anonymous".

If I told you my real name was Samuel Oliphant -or Admiral Sir Reginald Aylmer Plunkett Ernle-Ernle Drax for that matter - would you believe me?

MY NAME IS Admiral Sir Reginald Aylmer Plunkett Ernle-Ernle

Bit of a cough old chap?

No, you are confusing me with the Admiral Sir Reginald Aylmer Plunkett Ahem-Ahem Bit Of A Cough Old Chaps of Worcestershire.