Sunday, 2 September 2007

Bedtime Story

Midshipman: Now! Blogista, we all depend upon you for our freedom and our lives!

Blogista: I can't really, because my putz is excessively weightier than federal.

Middy: Damn you.

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From Elisabeth A. Crump. "My boyfriend's dick keeps slipping out".

Agony Chertiozhnik replies: Please stop writing to me. I am a professional "Agony Aunt". I deal only in genuine agony. That does not mean that I want to know about your personal problems.

Please stop sending me emails about replica watches and inexpensive pharmaceuticals. I will not respond.

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From Elisabeth A. Crump. "Dear Aunty I know you have trouble to talk with all of the troubled people all of the time. But please do not be nasty on us also. We can give you only one Rolex and one penis extension now, due to technical problems. Remember that you did sent us simply a wank picture of naked pizza delivery situation, and a difficult puzzle. Please to answer our emails and send us your 'bank account details', by which we know you communicate."

8 comments:

OHara said...

The rest I follow but the picture, the picture - what does it mean?

Chertiozhnik said...

I'm having a G A Henty'n'spam themed few days, so a piratey swordfight is all part of the fun.

OHara said...

No not that picture! The other one.

Chertiozhnik said...

The plaque from the Pioneer 10 craft, launched in 1972 and heading out beyond the solar system into deep space.

Which is where I suspect spam really comes from. I may be wrong of course.

OHara said...

oh wow. Now I understand.
Alien revenge?
Do I understand?

Chertiozhnik said...

I think they just want to be nice to us, hence the endless offers of cheap Viagra and barely-legal nymphomaniacs. Suits me anyway.

And they will put lots of money into our bank accounts so that we can Transact more effectively and often.

I feel a Religion coming on. I could be the next David Icke.

OHara said...

A new religion based on the contents of spam? It might just take off.

Chertiozhnik said...

Could do. Cheques or PayPal? Which to go for. The Gods prefer cash.