Xoggoth links to this story about a cow with a cough which has been sentenced to death (what a commotion, and surely the worse for being conducted in Patagonian, a language recently revived in Wales for no good reason at all).
And in Darlington police marksmen have Terminated With Extreme Prejudice one... cow, and are tracking another. Cow.
A spokesman for Durham Police said: "We cannot stress too highly how dangerous this animal is. It will attack anyone it sees and the public must not approach it in any circumstances."
What is this? What have they ever done to us?
Picture of The Last Cow pinched from Breadwig, and available as a T-shirt. Get one now, so you can show your grandchildren the kind of terrors we had to live with day to day in early twenty-first century Britain.
Half a million years ago Boxgrove Man (Homo heidelbergensis, howdy-doody) had to cope with elephants, hyaenas, rhinoceros... the poor bloke's leg bone got gnawed at both ends by a wolf. But where are the T-shirts?
The English Heritage site on Boxgrove has more spelling mistakes than I care to shake a stick at. Hominins? Rhinocerous?
I'm grumpy because it is 06:16 and I'm still wide awake. Bloody seagulls. And pigeons.