Wednesday, 11 July 2007

Cunning Plan

Before y'all write in with advice...

I have a cunning plan.

Don't tell me you're not gripped.

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Update
#1:

This reminds me of those childhood games where you are, for example, trapped in a steel crate deep underwater with only a welding torch, a snorkel and a giant bathplug to help you out.

Something to do with the Beano and a Mr. I-Spy?

Update #2:

Cunning? Did I say cunning?

More cunning than (in the Blackadder vein) a Very Cunning Thing Indeed.

10 comments:

OHara said...

If you're thinking of getting yourself a superhero costume and going on a vigilante spree...
Can I be your sidekick?

x said...

Or are you planning wandering around Brighton mugging people? Asking them for change is a good ploy I am told.

Chertiozhnik said...

Yes please, O'Hara, with the emphasis on Kick. I'm not a violent man, but... Me, I'm off to M&S for a pair of underpants big enough to fit over my superhero daks and still leave room for the Secret Utilities stashed in the Secret Pockets.

Mr. X, I have been wandering the dark streets of London, New York etc at all hours without ever once being robbed in thirty years. Plan B: walk around Brighton at night looking stupid some more, get mugged a few times, develop some common sense.

x said...

just for avoidance of doubt I am usually Mr x, I am just too lazy to add the oggoth

OHara said...

May I suggest forgetting about the pants. Go shopping for a trenchcoat instead. This is sexier and has far more style. Lapels up and try to keep your face hidden.
Go for a black version - black is mysterious and make sure it is a little big for you so that you can turn around quickly and make swirling movements and swishing noises.

Please do wear clothes under the trenchcoat in case you get a 'stop and search' policeman. You don't want to give the wrong impression.

OHara - signing out.
(The first job of a sidekick is to get the costume right.)(I'll be working on PR tomorrow)(My costume will be practical and involve shoes I can run in.)
P.S I can kick ass - as long as they are no more than a green belt in WaduRyu we will be evenly matched).

Chertiozhnik said...

Waduryu... wow. I can see I'm going to be the one taking the video with my camera, I don't even have much of a right hook.

As for m'cossie, do you think GotalightmacnobutidohaveadarkovercoatMan works?

OHara said...

Drop the Man. Add - you wanna see.
And it might work.

Sufficiently strange reply to send them running in the other direction - methinks.

Chertiozhnik said...

Yeah, am I... exposing myself in any of this? One way to drive off the crims, I suppose.

OHara said...

Uh - well no.
I think suggestion should be enough to send them running.
However.
If they look interested and get their mobile camera ready... then I suggest you turn your collar up and that'll be the sign for me to come in and kick some bad boy ass.

We must always try to solve a problem without violence.

Chertiozhnik said...

Okay, good tactics there O'Hara.

My proposal would have rather limited crimefighting in frosty weather, which wouldn't be public spirited at all.