Onwards and Upwards

Having spent an entirely sleepless night reading political blogs (being too tired to do anything more constructive), I have concluded that Flaubert's "Dictionary of Received Ideas" is badly in need of updating.




For example

ALABASTER : Used to describe the most beautiful parts of a woman's body.

ATHEISTS : A nation of atheists cannot survive.

BALLOONS : Thanks to them, man will one day reach the moon. But it will be a long time before they can be steered.

BELLY : Say 'abdomen' when there are ladies present.

COCKS : A thin man must always say that fighting cocks are never fat.

DEVICE : Obscene term.

and so forth. There are some that are still current

EARLY RISING : A sign of morality. If one goes to bed at four in the morning and rises at eight, one is lazy; but if one goes to bed at nine in the evening and gets up the next day at five, one is an active type.

FULMINATE : Nice verb.

HATS : Complain about their shape.

IDEALS : Perfectly useless.

but still there is much to be done. New and torpid worlds to be conquered.

Here is the Dictionary in French, from the wonderful Project Gutenberg.